At the Heart of Who You Really Are

I sat at my desk that morning, it was 9:15am, I had already squeezed in a workout and had a good sleep, yet I felt beyond exhausted. The thought of making it to 5:00pm felt like a difficult feat to accomplish. My mind raced with questions, why am I feeling this way? What is wrong with me? This went on for days. It wasn’t the first time in my life I’d felt this draining, heavy feeling. I wracked my brain – I had a great job, an amazing team, a supportive and loving husband, and a life I could have only ever dreamed of, yet, I felt miserable. I knew I was existing, not living in this moment.

The difference was, this time I was equipped with the tools, resources and awareness to pull myself back. To take charge of the feeling and serve myself a little happiness and fulfillment. I had worked closely with my own Coach to really know and understand who I actually was. What I was capable of, passionate about, what inspired and motivated me. I had a solid sense of what my innate strengths and passions were. I just needed to bring my current reality back into alignment with who I really “am”, there I would find my energy and passion. I could be the better leader, wife and friend.

Have you ever really considered why some decisions and choices in life come so easy to you, and others just boggle your mind? While the world would have us believe simply analyzing the facts should make the decision pretty clear cut and straightforward. Yet, for some decisions, no matter how much data and information you’ve collected, there still feels like something is missing. You’re right, there is. There is the data that is relevant to you.

As an individual, you already have all the information and abilities within you. You are this incredible being. We then take an individual and insert them into a system (your world – your family, friends, work, relationships, the media… I could go on here, but I think you get the point). The system feeds us more information, including many assumptions and beliefs. Our minds and thoughts are being shaped by the things we see and experience. Magazine images tell us what a healthy body should look like. Ads/Media portray what it means to be successful so that we adopt that definition. As children, Fairy Tales taught us was love should look like. Instagram & Facebook tell us how amazing everyone else’ life is. We are left comparing ourselves to the many messages we consciously and unconsciously accept.

All of this just feeds that inner critic that every now and again wants us to know that we aren’t good enough. That we need to be someone different. That we should want things that others have. We should act different ways if we want to achieve something. That we aren’t skinny enough, or beautiful enough, or smart enough, or fast enough, or successful enough, or deserving enough. We suddenly forget all the gifts we bring to the world, to relationships, to our friends, family and those we lead or engage with.

It’s not a wonder decisions get messy and complicated. Our minds start considering all kinds of information, what if… what if someone doesn’t agree? What if I get it wrong? What if I am not capable of making this? What if I am stuck with this choice forever? What if it doesn’t work? What if…

What if you are capable? What if you could weed through the clutter of assumptions and beliefs, and make the decision, the right decision, based on who you actually are when you strip away the other inputs? You can. You are capable. You are smart enough, strong enough and deserving enough. The information you need to get back to is understanding who you really are, who you really want to be, and taking action in alignment with that person.

When decisions are made and choices created in alignment with who you are, they come easily. When you are doing something that is in alignment with who you are, you feel energized, motivated, inspired. At the foundation of who you are, you will find your values and strengths. The pieces of yourself that have guided your best and happiest choices in life. Whether you’ve known about them or not they are there. Imagine if you spent more time understanding what they are, what they mean for you – how could that serve your life today?

I encourage you to take a few moments to get to know yourself with a simple values exercise:

What do you always have time and energy in life for?

What do those actions/people/things give you?

Where else in your life do these values appear?

Where do they not show up for you?

What are you noticing?

Leaders/Coaches – how would knowing what your people value change the way you lead/coach?

Reach out to jrose@ajackedexperience.com for a complimentary Value Assessment.