The Responsibility of Leadership
Everyone spoke so highly of my new boss, someone coming in with loads of selling experience, she had so much to offer and to teach our team. Very young in my career, I loved the leader who had left, but decided this was super exciting and I was determined to learn so much from this new leader. Within the first week of her arrival, she scheduled appointments with each of us. I spent some time thinking about what I was going to say, all the different questions I would ask. This was a really big deal for me.
When my moment came, the first words out of my mouth were “I’m so excited! I’ve heard about all the great things you’ve done, and how much I’m going to learn from you!” I barely got another sentence out before the reply came back like a shot in the face, “Have you taken Sales 101?” My heart literally sunk to my feet. My entire body went completely numb. I felt the blood rush to my face. I couldn’t decide if I was angry, or embarrassed, all I knew was that I was supposed to sit in front of this woman for the next 25 minutes, and I was completely crushed. It took less than a minute to feel all of my passion and potential literally dissipate.
I don’t remember another word that came out of her mouth after that, all I could think about was where I was going to start looking for another job. I had only been in my role for a little more than a year when the new sales leader started, and despite my nasty hour plus commute each day, I had never even thought about leaving. The minute I could escape that meeting, I bolted for my desk. I fought back the tears, and repeatedly swallowed the lump in my throat. My body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds. My mind raced, my thoughts were all over the place, my heart was pounding. I flipped into survival mode. I decided I was going to avoid my new leader at all costs. Keep my mouth shut unless asked to speak and secretly continue my search for a new job, an escape. I was frustrated, I didn’t even know where to begin. Just 40 minutes earlier I was in love with my job and all the opportunity I believe I had.
Suddenly, getting out of bed at 5:30am each day got difficult. Days felt unreasonably long. I resented the rush hour commute home each evening on Highway 401 in the heaviest of traffic in the Greater Toronto Area. I shed more tears and energy trying to understand what was happening to me. I had been so driven and eager to grow my career, and now it felt like it had come to a screeching halt.
Fortunately for me, this did not go on long before my leader’s leader pulled me into his office. He had seen the change in me. He knew what I was capable of and he wasn’t going to have me railroad myself. To this day I will never forget the words he said to me, “You didn’t choose this leader, and someday someone won’t have chosen you. It’s not your job to pick apart or criticize their faults. Instead, focus on their strengths, figure out how to develop them in yourself. Notice the things that do not make you feel good, and ensure those traits do not become part of your leadership style.”
In that moment, the disappointment, anger, and resentment melted away. A major weight was lifted. It was not only his words, but his belief in me, and even more, his challenge to me to benefit from this trying situation. It was in this moment that I knew I needed to become a leader. I went on to have the best “Sales” year of my career that year. More importantly, I knew what would become my motivation for being a leader – it only took a moment and some less than wise words for someone to almost extinguish the potential in me, and I never wanted to do that to someone else. In fact, all I’ve ever wanted since that moment, is to find the best in a person and make it even better. This leader was coach-like, and that was who I wanted to become.
Leadership comes with great responsibility. Let us choose to use it wisely to develop our people. Leadership is not about proving ourselves, it is about giving others around us the opportunity and support to rise higher than they ever thought possible. The return on an investment of this type is immeasurable to both the company and the associate.
What kind of leader are you?
